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Get a native English speaker to write English copy

"A piece of software that developed for data recovery..." is incomprehensible as well as a case of not putting your best foot forward in your market.

Every program/app/utility that runs on a computer is 'a piece of software'.
'That developed for data recovery' makes it sound like no one in your company actually had a part in its development. 'That' can go away without loss: making it go away lends meaning and emphasis.
Both phrases can be easily replaced with something that _says_ something, rather than filling space:
MiniTool Mobile Recovery for IOS brings data recovery to iOS devices!

The original copy makes me want to avoid the product: it wasn't written on purpose, it just developed (itself?). It doesn't promise that I can get around iOS's nasty compartmentalization, which normally prevents a program from affecting another program's protected space: does it do that? No way to tell, and not worth buying to find out. (Yes, it's free today, but tomorrow, will you sell even one copy?

Understand this: You don't sell software merely by the software being _good_: you have to be able to tell people that it is good, and what it is good _for_. Your copy writer needs to know what the product does, how it does it, what differentiates it from other software claiming to do the same thing. And your copy writer has to be enthused about those differences. Finally, and most important, he has to be familiar enough with the language to be able to project enthusiasm without stumbling over unfamiliar language constructs.

Google Translate is not your friend. Make friends with an English Speaker and get them to write for your company.

William Brohinsky , 24.03.2016, 15:36
Idea status: under consideration


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